ShinRa's Assassins
by Raine The Evil Turk
Summary: Not a proper title yet. Involves the Turks, and will soon have a proper storyline. Rated for a certain redhead's language.


Yeah... I know what you're all thinking... Here comes that crazy idiot with another one of her crazy fics involving those crazy Turks. Well, guess what? You're damned right!

Sooooo... This ones gonna _hopefully_ gonna be based on the Turks, but with all your other favourites in it too. It'll have a storyline, but there'll be some chapters about missions and stuff, just because I like making up funny things.

I don't own FFVII, the Turks (Reno ish mine!) or anything else that is vaguely Square Enix related. Unless I made it up completely. o.O

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Flicking a lock of red hair out of his eyes, Reno smirked and watched a bluenette make her way across the office and towards their boss, Tseng, handing him a folder. It presumably contained a new target.

"Scarlet just brought this in Sir. She said it was extremely important and that it should be dealt with immediately."

"Thank you Kestrel..." Chuckling to himself at one of his newer, yet more skilled Turks, Tseng flicked through the folder. He knew how much she couldn't stand Scarlet. Especially after she publically humiliated her in front of Cloud and his band of merry fools...

SLAP!!

"You useless wench! Can't you even load a gun properly?!" Scarlet demanded, tearing the weapon from Kestrels hands as _Avalanche _watched and laughed, an angry red mark appearing on her face.

"Ma'am, it's out of-" Her sentence was cut off as the gun was thrown at her, another slap being aimed in her direction. Being as embarrassed as she was, she forgot to duck. Both assaults hit their target.

"WHAT ARE YOU, RETARDED?!?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT WAS OUT OF AMMO BEFORE I EMBARRASSED MYSELF AS WELL?!?!" Scarlet screamed, raising her other hand.

The sound of laughter made her stop and turn. Cloud and Vincent, two of the more stoic members of the party were close to bursting, and Barret was on the ground, slamming his gun arm down again and again, laughing so hard that tears were threatening to spill.

Scarlet turned, the look in her eyes of pure murder, and let out a hiss. " How _dare_ you embarrass me in front of those numbskulls!! I'll be having a word with Tseng about this!!! Get back in the chopper, before I impale you on the end of your weapon!"

Kestrel gulped, looking hastily at her duel arm blades. Stumbling over her own feet, Kestrel finally reached the chopper, Scarlet hot on her heels with her own personal guards following. Why she needed a Turk when she had 5 First-Class SOLDIER members with her was anybodies guess. Maybe it was because Kestrel was far better looking than her that she couldn't stand it. The whole of Shin-Ra's employees knew how much Scarlet had spent on her looks. She was made of more plastic than the little toy Shin-Ra soldiers that kids were so fond of.

Luckily for Kestrel, it was protocol that a trained soldier be with them on missions to record everything that went on, just in case someone seriously screwed up and refused to admit it. Tseng had watched as Kestrel fought with Cloud, Vincent and Barret, keeping them at bay to give the chopper a chance to start it's propellers. Then Scarlet appeared and started slapping her about.

"Hmm... Reno, you take this one." Tseng sighed. Reno kept going on about how bored he was, and it was getting annoying.

Reno was about to reply when the folder hit him on the side of the head.

"Oww, not the face! Geez, what was that for, yo?"

Kestrel glared at him. "Stop looking at me like you see me naked!"

Reno smirked at her. "What, can you read my thoughts? Read this one then..."

Sighing, Kestrel left the office, not wanting to know about what he was probably doing to her in his twisted mind. It was obviously her turn to be harassed by the red headed Turk. He had a new target everyday.

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"Hey girl, what's up?"

Elena was finishing off some reports at her desk, and saw her friend literally dragging her feet as she made her way to her desk.

"Meh... I'm not feeling myself today, that's all. Must have been that trip to the Icicle Inn. Damned if I know why that punk was hiding there..."

Her last mission had been to track down a ninja from Wutai, and he chose the place that no one would suspect him to be. Far away from his tropical home, in some random frozen wastelands. He had info that Shin-Ra wanted, and she had been chosen to get it.

"And on top of that, Reno's decided that it's my turn to be stalked."

"Aww, unlucky," the blond grinned. "It was me yesterday. And our secretary, Lanayru, the day before that. You normally have fun when it's you."

"That's because I'm so cool and funny," Kestrel replied, giving Elena a half-hearted grin before yawning. "I just don't feel like doing anything today. And I have to fly out to Nibelheim and check out that freaky lab later too."

Elena frowned. Kestrel was one of the more... highly amusing of her friends, and loved a good prank as much as Reno did. She wasn't looking particularly healthy today either. Her skin was paler than normal, if that was possible, and her normally messy blue hair was just sort of... not being messy. She stood up and grabbed Kestrel's arm, steering her towards the door.

"Huh? What's up?"

"I'm taking you to see the doctor in the medical wing."

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"Well that certainly wasn't the reaction I intended... " Reno said, more than a little shocked. Usually, Kestrel would have said something equally as embarrassing for Tseng to hear, just for a chance at making him uncomfortable.

"Oh, and what did you expect?" Tsenf said, leaning over a filing cabinet, his reason for being in Reno and Rude's office in the first place.

"Certainly not to be whacked upside the head with a heavy folder and glared at, yeah?"

"Hmm... Whatever. You should get straight to work. You know what she'll do to you if Scarlet blames your lateness on her." Tseng's gold eyes glittered triumphantly as he pulled the document he was looking for from it's hiding place. "And I thought I told you to organise this?"

"Ah, yeah... Organizing the filing cabinet... It's a funny story actually-"

Tseng growled inwardly as the cocky red-head darted towards the door and vanished. One day, Reno was gonna have an accident involving Tseng, the elevator and the elevators power supply.

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"This is all I need..." Rubbing his temples, Tseng stood up and looked out of the window. The chopper approaching from the distance told him that Reno was returning.

"I could check out the mansion for her?" Elena piped up, who was willing to do anything for the Wutaiian.

It was an unusually busy day, and the rest of the Turks were out. There was a lot more work to be done, and Kestrel had been told by the doctor to go home, after she tried to shoot the little birds flying around his head. Not only that, but there were some new recruits flying in from Junon later.

"Yes... That would be fine. Tell Reno to come to my office when you see him, he's just getting back."

"Y-yes Sir!" Elena rushed out of Tsengs office, elated at the fact that Tseng had agreed with her.

When Reno jumped down from the chopper and stretched, she passed on the message and jumped inside. Unlike Reno, she couldn't fly it, so she called a pilot from the Weapon Development lab and was on her way.

"You growled?" Reno lent against the doorway off Tseng's, wondering why Kestrel was asleep against hi boss's desk.

"Take her home. And make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."

"Oh, so I've got the rest of the day off?" Reno's eyes glinted, thinking off the alcohol he could consume.

"No, you're to take Kestrel home and make sure she stays there. She's a bit... delirious. I'll be checking up on you later."

Reno prodded Kestrel until she she jumped to her feet, mumbling about Moomba's and giant lasers. 'Even better than a day off...' Reno chuckled to himself. ' I get to spend the rest of the day in a chick's apartment. I wonder if she keeps her friends numbers around...'

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So... Here we are! As you can see, it doesn't appear to be taking on any storyline whatsoever. This is sort of where you guys come in. I need some new recruits. :p As in, rookie Turks. I was too lazy to think of them. It takes me ages making names for people. Then, I can incorporate them into the story, making it extremely cool. If you want your Turk in there, just review with:

Name: Bob

Age: 1001

Weapon: a Rubber Duckie

Description: he is a giant piece of cheese. -eats Bob-

and whatever else you wanna put, ie. Their personality, gender would also be a good thing... Don't wanna turn the guys into girls and vice versa. And if you like, you can also mention some missions you wanna see added in, or some crazy office antics. Because I'm a humor addict. Well... Review!!!!


End file.
